By Barbara Hunter, Counsellor at Truest Reflections
Visualize the following:
You are in a boat looking at the calmness of the water. The breeze is light, the air is warm, and the water looks so inviting. What would it feel like to jump in and take a swim? I can imagine it now, cool and refreshing. Just as I’m about to put my foot in, there is a ripple in the water from something moving below. What is that? At that moment I see a school of fish make their way around my boat. I let out a big sigh of relief, but do I want to go into the water now? Is there anything else below the surface? Old reels of television shows and movies start to move across my mind and I suddenly pull my foot back into the boat and decide it’s just not a good time to go into the water. It just wasn’t safe.
When do we feel safe? I feel safe around my family, friends, and some work associates. I feel safe, for the most part around dogs and cats, especially ones not bigger than me.
But, the safety I feel comes with conditions. What I mean by that is, I can be cautious with my thoughts, words, and feelings around those who don’t know me. This can include family and friends. I can be quirky, shy, outrageous - my true authentic self - with those I’m close to because I feel safe. With those I don’t quite know as well, I’m a little less vulnerable. However, I have been known to say off the wall things, behave weirdly or not very Barb-like with associates or those I’ve just met. I think that comes from wanting to make a certain impression. If I feel safe with who I’m with, I don’t want to nor do I need to make any impressions. Perhaps, meeting someone for the first time requires me to feel the need to make an ‘appropriate’ impression. If I’m feeling safe, impressions are unnecessary.
Our experiences and beliefs feed our thoughts, which then create emotions and show up in our behaviours. Feeling safe, means I can be vulnerable, say crazy things, and still feel loved and accepted. Around people I don’t know, I might feel judged or evaluated due to some old experiences from the past. I don’t feel safe if I feel pressure to make a good impression.
When do you feel safe? When was the last time you felt safe enough to be your true authentic self?
Do you notice when you’re not safe? Does fight or flight mode come into play when you’re not safe? Take a deep breath and really notice what your thoughts are saying when these responses come up. Ask yourself, do you feel safe?
For more information or to talk about safety, you can message me for a complimentary counseling session at truestreflections@gmail.com.
At Truest Reflections Counselling Services in Creston, Barbara Hunter offers counselling, Reiki, and workshops on breathing, empowerment, journaling, and healing. For more information, visit truestreflections.com.