By Jason Meidl, Funeral Director at Creston Valley Funeral Services
jason@crestonvalleyfuneralservices.ca
Twice this week, I was reminded by two different people on the importance of remembering those we have lost. When someone experiences a loss, we as a society tend to not know what to say or even if we should say anything at all. This is often due to us not wanting to say the wrong thing or assuming that the person who has suffered the loss just doesn’t want to talk. I am reminded of a line from a poem… “tears are memories in motion”. As the bereaved, we do want to talk about our loved one. Maybe not right after the death, but as time passes it becomes more and more important to talk about the person we have lost. This is especially true when someone loses a child, whether that be a young child or an adult child. Parents want to remember their children and talking about them is a way to do this, a way to keep their memories alive. A way for their memories to be in motion. I lost my best friend 13 years ago, and we still talk about him today with his parents. This is done through a private Facebook group that his mom created. We often post photos and memories on the group. I know this group means the world to his mom, showing her that her son has not been forgotten and is still very much loved by his many friends.
“Can I customize my funeral?” - Raymond
This is a great question and one we get more than you might think. Traditionally, funerals were religious-based services for the most part. Depending on which church one attended, it often determined the type of service one might have. In today’s day and age, more and more, we are seeing “Celebration of Lives” rather than that of the traditional funeral service. This is partly due to an increase of cremation instead of burial, less people connected to a church, and moving away from funerals being entirely somber events towards celebration of who the person was.
With this in mind we are seeing more and more customization through displaying items at the service that speak to who that person was. This can be as simple as a memory table to something as elaborate as bringing in someone’s favourite Harley to be on display. I have seen theme-based funeral services and what we call living funerals. As a funeral director and as a certified funeral celebrant, I find myself officiating services more and more often. This puts me in a unique position where not only am I arranging someone’s funeral service, I am also officiating it as well. When it comes to a funeral, you should never be told you can’t do that, or we don’t do that. There is rarely a request that cannot be honoured. We are there as a service to you.
Funeral Facts
Many of us may have noticed that when Queen Elizabeth II passed away, she was placed in a lead-lined coffin that is estimated to have weighed 550 pounds. But why? For centuries, kings, queens, princes, and princesses have been placed in lead coffins to better preserve their bodies. The tradition dates back to a time when modern methods of preservation were not yet available – using formaldehyde to preserve bodies was not discovered until 1869.
This tradition goes all the way back to William the Conqueror who died in 1087. One account says that William sustained an injury while riding in a battle that pierced his intestines. As he slowly died, the people in his life – most of whom he had not treated well, including his son, who he was at actual war with – decided not to take on the matter of arranging his funeral. After he died, his body was left decomposing on a stone slab. Eventually, a knight did take it upon himself to take care of it and transported the body a full 112 kilometres to Caen to be buried. The body continued to decompose and started to accumulate gas through decomposition. Upon arrival, a fire in the city warmed the corpse up some more and the gases expanded. By the day of the funeral, it was too bloated to fit into the sarcophagus. Undeterred by basic physics, the gravediggers attempted to cram him in there anyway. It was at this point that the body blew, and “the swollen bowels burst, and an intolerable stench assailed the nostrils of the bystanders and the whole crowd,” according to Benedictine monk and chronicler Orderic Vitalis. This is said to have been the start of the long-lived royal tradition of using lead line coffins.
Keep the questions coming to jason@crestonvalleyfuneralservices.ca.