Attitude affects everything. One day we can wake up looking forward to the day and the next day our lives seems empty and meaningless. One day weeding the garden is a chore, the next it’s a source of pleasure. But our weeding hasn’t changed and neither has our life — we still have the same family, the same garden, the same job, the same community. What has changed is our attitude.
Perhaps we had a dream we don’t remember, perhaps we did or didn’t do something that we shouldn’t or should have done the day before. An attitude is a kind of mental container that shapes and colors whatever is put into it. Attitude not only colors what comes into the mind, but leads you to attend to some things while being completely oblivious of others. It affects what comes into your head as well as what happens thereafter.
As is usual, the Lojong slogans that form the basis for this essay are talking about the attitude inherent in the idea that we are more important that everybody else. This is our customary way of thinking about things and it is usually reflected in our actions. It is a natural human trait to examine everything that presents itself to determine if it will help us, harm us or if is it neutral. If something benefits us we embrace it, if it benefits others but not ourselves we reject it, if it is neutral, we ignore it. With an attitude like this we come first and others come second. It is rather embarrassing, but crude as it may sound, most of us carry this attitude or assumption with us all the time. It is our default position, deeply ingrained, difficult to recognize and difficult to change.
But Lojong mind training is all about creating a shift in that fundamental self-centred stance. The practice is to make an effort to care for others as much as you care for yourself. Even more radically, it is to shift your attitude so that your concern for the welfare of others actually pops up first, rather than as a distant second.
This kind of attitude adjustment seems like a pretty big deal, heroic even. But according to the slogan, it is important not to get caught up in the big-dealness. You’ve probably noticed by now that all of the slogans have an odd way of combining radical challenges with the suggestion to just to relax. There is absolutely no room for exhibitionism or spiritual posturing. Slogan practice is not focused on grand gestures. Instead, the idea is to make small but consistent moves in the direction of awareness and loving kindness. And then: Get over yourself and just relax!
Suggested practice: When you notice your attitude turning inward, fixating on yourself, give it a gentle nudge and turn it outward to include other beings. Don’t punish yourself for your selfishness or give yourself a gold star for your altruism. Simply apply the slogan and move on.
This column is a long series of short essays exploring the meaning of the Lojong Slogans. It is inspired by the work of Judy Lief.
Kuya Minogue is the resident teacher at Creston’s ZenWords Zen Centre. For more information, she can be reached at 250-428-3390.