A letter of advice for Prime Minister Trudeau

Whatcha gonna do when your first term in office is over and you look back on your career as a one-term prime minister?

Dear Prime Minister Trudeau,

Whatcha gonna do when your first term in office is over and you look back on your career as a one-term prime minister? Are you going to blame your lack of success on parliamentarians chosen by you, but who were too inexperienced to bring promises to reality? Are you going to claim it was “a bad time to be a leader” or “the opposition made it too hard for you to do your job by asking such definitive questions”?

You will need someone else to blame, so I am suggesting Morneau. You could say he was conning you into believing that his monetary advice had merit. Or you could blame the oil and gas industry and say that “conglomerate influences” made promises they couldn’t keep— leaving you holding the bag…or as in this case… the pipeline.

Perhaps your best approach would be to just simply come clean and admit that the job was too much for you, that your expertise is in the area of drama, not production, causing you to inspire the masses, but leaving you unable to produce the promised results.

It would be best to devise a strategy now, as opposed to leaving it until the unproductive reality of your term becomes clear to the Canadian people. Once they realize how badly their economy has been affected by your rash spending, it will be too late to scramble for excuses. Once their Canada Pension Plan is shown to be floundering and infrastructure banking is revealed to be a fiasco, they may be too angry to even listen.

You could always fall back on the gains made in the protection of aboriginal rights-just don’t bring up the National Energy Board and how it disregarded First Nation’s concerns over the Kinder Morgan fiasco. Better yet, just don’t mention KM or the coast. At least not until after the first spill is long past. I would advise you to not bring up aboriginal affairs at all. The Trail of Tears and court costs for aboriginals seeking clean drinking water are probably still tender topics.

And don’t bring up immigration. Bragging around the world how you were welcoming thousands of people fleeing their country and then coming to Canada to find insufficient funding to house them, creating havoc for cities left to manage without help, will not earn you any sympathy. People will just see it as sending out invitations without planning the party.

International prestige is probably better left without reference as well. Once you got your “er’s” and “ah’s” under control, you started out strong with the rock star image. But dancing in argyle socks in India, in an inappropriate cultural wedding costume, while spending $700,000 for one week of failing to impress the prime minister there (so that he was more willing to say goodbye than hello), is better left unsaid.

As to “photo ops”, I would steer clear of any around jets or swing sets. Just keep pointing to the “success” of your transgender toilets.

And good luck with your future career endeavours. I hear President Trump is looking for a new public relations officer. Two birds one stone.

Pat Martin | Canyon, B.C.

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