In the 1999 science fiction film The Matrix, the character of Neo is presented with two choices: if he swallows the red pill he will learn that the world is a dark place, controlled by machines; if he swallows the blue pill he will return to his old life where everyone lives in blissful ignorance. The scene presents one of the great philosophical debates about truth and reality. At the end of the scene, Neo chooses the red pill. He breaks away from the artificial world and wakes up aboard a dilapidated hovercraft.
I wonder how many of us would choose to take the red pill and see the world for what it is, rather than what we want it to be. I wonder if the average person would knowingly exchange life’s little comforts for an absolute truth that involves the constant disintegration of society.
Walking through downtown Creston recently I was reminded about the disintegration of society through language, especially in the use of the apostrophe. I watched as dozens of residents mindlessly strolled past sandwich boards and community event posters, completely unaware of the blatant misuse of the apostrophe – especially in pluralizing nouns. A few years ago, there was the occasional mistake, but lately it has become an epidemic.
I walked into a local coffee shop and, as I was waiting in line, I noticed that the drink options were listed under two heading: Hot Drink’s or Cold Drink’s.
I wasn’t going to say anything, but it bothered me. “You don’t pluralize with an apostrophe,” I said. “What you’re advertising is Hot Drink Is and Cold Drink Is.”
The man behind the counter looked at the chalkboard. I was expecting him to thank me and apologize for the mistake, but he didn’t. “Whatever,” he said. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Um… no, it does matter,” I said. “It’s wrong.”
I was also going to tell him that there was, by definition, only one size of cappuccino in the correct ratio of espresso, milk and foam. I wanted to remind him that a large cappuccino is actually a latte, but I didn’t think it was a good time to bring it up.
I understand that the English language is constantly changing. Unlike other languages that have remained largely unchanged for thousands of years, the English language continues to warp and adapt and steal from other languages. Since Germanic tribes invaded Britain, resulting in the earliest form of the language, it has always been a difficult language to learn. But I am offended at how present-day English (especially as it is written on social media) is now a jumble of poor grammar, punctuation, capitalization and spelling. Some posts I have read recently are like an elaborate code that even da Vinci would have problem deciphering. Social media aside, I wonder if we can reverse the worst mistakes being made today: the misuse of the apostrophe, and the difference between your and you’re.
It was recently Valentine’s Day and across the world young men and women sent online messages and texts to their sweethearts that read: “Your beautiful”.
The proper response should have been: “My beautiful what?”
If the response read, “I think your beautiful two. Maybe we should meat for some hot drink’s,” then the two deserve each other.
This is not just a local issue. I have seen the misuse of the apostrophe and confusion with your/you’re in towns and cities across Canada and the United States. I also have to wonder why the marketing department at 7-Eleven thought it prudent to add an accent over the letter ‘e’ when advertising their lattes. Maybe they thought it would add a little sophistication to the brand. But it’s wrong.
Be careful. There is no going back if you take the red pill and are suddenly aware of all the poor grammar and punctuation. As with any absolute truth, it is more a curse than a blessing. However, if you are going to fight the good fight, then I will stand behind you. Maybe we have a chance of prolonging society, as we know it. Maybe we have a chance of maintaining the beauty of language before it disintegrates beyond recognition. Every revolution starts with a small step: in this case the correct use of the apostrophe – and maybe the your/you’re issue while we’re at it. Sometimes I feel like walking around with a large bottle of correction fluid and fixing the mistakes, but I might be arrested and end up in the police blotter.
This is serious. Don’t laugh.
Time: an eternity
Place: the real world